


Roombas

by berryblonde



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Family, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, M/M, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Roombas, i love that there's a tag for roombas, mentioned Connor/Gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 23:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15254070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryblonde/pseuds/berryblonde
Summary: Connor keeps adopting Roombas. Hank decides it's time to talk about it.





	Roombas

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to [shootmewithasilverbullet](https://shootmewithasilverbullet.tumblr.com) on tumblr for enduring all my rambling about this and on top of it, editing this small piece for me, go and give her some love please!

The first time it happened, Hank really didn’t give it too much thought. It was helpful, after all, and even if he'd never admit it, kind of cute. He didn’t question where exactly it came from, because he trusted Connor not to do anything too stupid.

Connor, however, seemed to take Hank’s silence as approval. So, after the first one joined their household, the second, third... twentieth Roomba followed suit.

Hank sighed. He didn’t have the heart to tell the android to _please stop bringing home these goddamn Roombas_ , not when his eyes lit up like they did with every new “pet” he brought in. It wasn’t as if Hank didn’t like them, he did, but his house really wasn't big enough for the twenty-something little robot creatures that were happily gliding around the house, chirping and beeping whenever they bumped into each other, or him, or poor Sumo. The poor dog didn't know what was going on.

Hank heard the door being thrown open excitedly, and he dragged his hand across his face and braced himself for what he knew, he just fucking knew was going to happen.

“Lieutenant! I – “, Connor’s voice called out from the living room, door still wide open.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you adopted another one of those fucking things. Son, get in here and close the goddamn door before I freeze my balls off. It's still fucking February.” Hank interrupted him.

Connor laughed, and a door was closed. After a few seconds Connor entered the living room still shaking snow out of his hair, and sure enough: he was hugging a Roomba close to his chest.

Hank let out another sighed and shook his head. Sometimes Connor really tested his patience, constantly nagging him about his alcohol and food choices, the licking, and the fucking Roombas.

“At least it’s just one this time.” Connor smiled, LED cycling into a calm blue. “I left the other one at Detective Reed’s place.”

Hank laughed, rolling his eyes. “Still calling the prick ‘Detective Reed’, huh? I may be old, but I’m not fucking blind, kid.”

“It’s nothing of the sort, Hank.” despite that, Connors Led flashed yellow for a split second.

"Nothing my ass, Connor. Anyways, which one is this? Number 24? 25?” Hank pointing at the little robot in Connor’s arms.

Connor’s LED again blinked yellow for a few seconds, probably calculating, before he answered “The 29th one, actually. It was manufactured September 14th, 2036 and thrown out by its owner yesterday, the 3rd of February 2040 at exactly 3:46 pm.”

“Wait, so that’s where you actually get those things from? You just pick ‘em of the fucking street?” Hank raised an eyebrow, regretting the fact that he never actually asked that until now. Well, better late than never.

“Yes.” Connor answered simply, glancing down at the Roomba in his arms. He rarely looked Hank directly in the eyes for long, always having them wander around the room as if he was investigating it. Hank had never figured out why and didn't feel right asking about it.

“Humans tend to discard them once their model becomes too old or in this case, they malfunction.”

“So how come you never bring broken ones home, then?”

Connor hesitated before speaking, slowly, this time making an effort to actually look at Hank. “They… they don’t necessarily malfunction in a way that renders them broken. They seem to develop errors that cause them to act differently than they were programed to.”

Hank stared at Connor for a moment, before shaking his head. He was way too sober for this. “So, you’re telling me… you’re telling me these little shits you’ve been bringing here are actually deviant fucking vacuum cleaners? Connor, what the hell?”

Connor made a motion to cover the Roomba’s audio processors before he smiled. “In fact, yes. A lot of androids view them as, say, a human views a cat. Leaving them would be simply heartless, wouldn’t it? They can't survive outdoors for long, they weren't designed to endure the elements.”

Hank leaned back in his chair, running a hand over his face. “You know I’m more of a dog person, kid. Even if they're robots.” he grumbled. “Look, Connor. I know you mean well, and I'm proud of you for going out there and finding something that you _want_ to do but... but this house really isn’t fucking big enough for any more of these things.” he waved a hand in front of him, where three of the Roombas had congregated, bumping and chirping at each other. It was cute, sure. For the first 2 minutes.

The android’s smile fell, and he quickly set down the newest addition to their not so little herd of android pets, watching as it scuttled towards the three vacuums already there. There was more bumping and chirping and spinning and God. Hank was kind of attached to them now.

“I know, Hank. But what else am I supposed to do with them?” his voice sounded distressed as he watched the four interact at their feet. He looked lost.

“Oh, c’mon son, don’t give me that fucking sad puppy look alright? Come on, sit down, we’ll think of something. You said you left one of ‘em with that prick Reed, right?”

Connor nodded with a frown, Led back to a bright yellow. “Hank, I'd ask that you to refrain from –"

“- I’ll call that fucker whatever I want to call him. So, you left one of the Roombas with him, right?”

Connor looked confused, “Yes, but I don’t see how that might help solving this… predicament." he focused down at the Roombas, patting one of them away from his ankle before it bumped into him. "I don’t believe that Gavin would appreciate being gifted almost 30 more Roombas.”

Hank tossed his head back and howled. “Connor, I didn’t mean we should give him all of them! It'd be fucking funny as hell, but we have a whole precinct full of police officers who might not mind some additional deviant household help and a pet you don’t have to fucking clean up after.”

LED flashed yellow, processing what Hank had just proposed. Connor’s face lit up “That’s… that’s a great idea, Hank!” He rose back to his feet, attempting to snatch up one of the little robotic creatures dashing around the living room but it evaded him only to bump into the coffee table and chirp at it.

An exasperated sigh escaped Hank’s lips, looking fondly at the overly excited android. “Tomorrow, Connor. I don’t think anyone would appreciate you barging into their house at 2 am, and against the law or not I don’t think you’d get outta there without a fucking broken nose.”

“I’m sorry, Hank. You're right. I'm sorry, I got a little carried away.” Before Hank could answer, a buzzing, chirping sound, followed by loud, deep bark was heard from the kitchen.

Hank grinned at Connor. “You brought ‘em here, you take care of 'em before Sumo tries to eat one of them again.”

Connor started heading towards the kitchen, laughing at the memory of the last time Sumo had tried to eat one. “Tomorrow, we can find them new homes, without big dogs that will attempt to eat them. Right, Hank?” Connor was worried, but he trusted Hank and left the room to check on Sumo and Roomba Number 24.

Sometimes Hank truly regretted his life choices but taking the android under his wing wasn’t one of them, no matter how chaotic things may be at times.


End file.
